This weekend, Michael and I took part in a couple’s retreat hosted by our church and led by Marriage and Family Therapist, Corey Allan.
If you have not heard of Corey Allan, then here are the basics. He has a website called SimpleMarriage.net. He also hosts a podcast called Sexy Marriage Radio, which is all about, well, sex in the marriage. I warn you, it’s very blunt and it deals with all kinds of topics. I cannot stress that enough. But honestly, it’s a great resource for marriage, especially in the Christian arena. It deals with subjects that have been hushed or taboo’ed for decades, nay, centuries.
But Corey Allan talks about more than just taboo subjects. He challenges people to use marriage as a tool for growing up and becoming individuals. At the beginning of my marriage, I thought I had to be in sync with whatever Michael wanted to do and vice versa. I felt guilty when we weren’t doing the same things or spending the majority of our week together.
Corey challenges a different view. He calls for people to bring more honesty about our true needs and to not be afraid to bring in a healthy form of selfishness. Not a “gimme” type selfishness, but an honest look at boundaries within a marriage that can help the marriage and the two in the marriage to grow.
The weekend was great. It started out with a cute little gift basket. The lectures were short and few because Corey wanted the weekend to be a relaxing one. The first night we played a Newly Wed Game. On Saturday, we played “Where’s Waldo” in the nearby mall with people from our church dressed in red and white striped shirts. Unfortunately, we only found one, but it was a lot of fun.
Then, Sunday, we worshiped together with a small communion and a challenge to embrace a radically different marriage that can be something our kids or grandkids will want to emulate. Wonderful retreat, wonderful weekend!