I have not been writing lately. Last week, I was physically ill at the beginning and end of the week, for different reasons. My stomach is very picky about what I should and shouldn’t eat. Also, we have been working on a project for the last month that has put my office in chaos for the last two weeks. Every time I would walk into my office to write, I would run screaming from the room, yelling, “I just can’t do it!” Disorganization does that to me. However, that project is completed and will be revealed this week!
I would like to say that those two reasons are the only reasons for my absence, but I would be lying. I hate lying. I try to be as honest as possible on this blog, but the other “illnesses” I’ve been dealing with are quite chronic, and treatment is very difficult. It’s also difficult to admit that I have these conditions because in the blogging world, everything can be presented as perfect and put together. Even the bumps in the road can be mountains made into molehills. But I hate to lie. Did I mention that?
So what are these conditions, these chronic illnesses that have plagued me recently? Well, the first is the “Wudda Shudda Cudda” Virus. This virus can lay dormant for many days, weeks, even months, and then all of the sudden, your speech changes. You start every sentence with “If only”, like “If only I did things this way last year” or “If only I hadn’t lost my temper last night”. Then, slowly, regret takes over the brain causing confidence damage. The things you thought you could do seem impossible now. You don’t want to go out or try new things. You don’t feel like you are good at anything anymore.
If left untreated, this virus can lead to the Green Eyed Syndrome. Since regret is high and confidence is so low, it’s easy for people to hallucinate better lives for the people around them compared to their own life. This can lead to an urge to either compete with these distorted perceptions or withdraw from society even further. It also tends to alienate the infected person from real interactions with other people, which inhibits treatment of these conditions.
So how do these conditions get treated? Well, each person is affected and infected differently, so the treatment must be tailored to their specific needs. The first step is to contact the Great Physician. He understands the heart and soul of these conditions. He created the heart and soul in the first place! He will lead you to a better understanding of these conditions and prescribe the correct treatment plan for your specific version of this ailment.
Also, find someone who will hold you accountable to your treatment plan, whether it’s your spouse or a friend. Let them know you have been dealing with these conditions, so that they can look out for any returning symptoms. It’s so important to have people who love and support you during this fragile time.
Finally, remember that you are created with purpose and love. You have unique abilities that will enable you to do what you are meant to do. Trust in the Great Physician. Keep open communication with Him, and you will overcome this disease.
I have lots of bloggity plans for September. The fall season tends to rejuvenate me, so be on the lookout for some updates soon, especially the big project reveal!
I realize that I said I will overcome this disease of regret and depression as if it was an easy thing to fix with a quick prayer or two. I in no way meant to imply that. This is an ongoing, chronic condition that I deal with, and it’s through God that I find relief and peace, but it is still a struggle for me. Also, it is nothing that I personally do that overcomes any of it, but what God has done and is doing through me.