Grief, Loss and Thanksgiving: Part One

Part 1: Grief – Monday, November 24, 2014

It started a week or so ago.  I hadn’t felt the baby move, but I explained it away, chalked it up to the fear and anxiety I carried over from my miscarriage last year.  I had an appointment today, so I made note to talk to the doctors about the anxiety.

However, the appointment was not as run of the mill as I hoped.  First, there was no heartbeat detected.  Then, I had a sonogram done, and there was no growth after 22 weeks, no heartbeat, nothing.  I had lost another baby.  I was wrapped in the compassionate arms of two of the doctors and a nurse almost immediately.  I called my husband who wasn’t there because this was really suppose to be a check up, but he left work immediately to meet me at the clinic.

I was moved to a room with table and chairs, somewhere less clinical, to wait for Michael.  I started making calls to family and work to let them know what was going on.  I wavered between sobbing breakdowns and staring at nothing in shock.  When my husband arrived, the doctor rejoined us to talk about what happens next.  I would have to go to a hospital to deliver, something I didn’t think I would be doing until spring.

We went home and I just sat outside for a while.  Michael made lunch, and we talked about our plans for the week, making one decision and then wait a couple hours to make the next decision, because it was all so much to take in.  We decided we would go to the hospital on Wednesday (our doctor would be on call that day).  We wouldn’t be traveling for Thanksgiving, so we would have to figure out something for food that day. I continued making a few more calls and then let the grapevine take over, receiving texts the rest of the day as people found out.  My friend Lori came by that evening for some talk about everything and anything, but what was about to happen.  It was a nice visit.  Finally, my mom and I made plans for her to fly in Tuesday night to help us during the procedure and recovery.  It will be good to have her here.

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12 thoughts on “Grief, Loss and Thanksgiving: Part One

  1. I have been praying for you since hearing the heartbreaking news. May the Lord blanket you with a level of comfort that words of condolence cannot. You two are precious to us and the Greenville Oaks family. We love you and ache for you. May God’s presence be obvious even in the midst of your sadness. Thank you for sharing your story, Katy. I’m praying that God will speak purpose and blessing into it.
    Love and hugs, Gaynell

    • Katy,
      You and Michael have been on my heart and mind since I first heard the news. I have no words to offer for what you experienced. I am heart broken and the “why” is running rampant in my mind. But I know God is faithful and His Love endures forever. Grieving is a personnel process, but know that others are grieving with you and you are not alone. You are loved so much! Holly

      • Thank you so much Holly. I really appreciate your friendship and your heart. “Why” has definitely been a question that we hope to at least have some answers to soon.

  2. I read the first two sentences of this post and instantly started to cry… I don’t personally know the pain you’re experiencing, so I won’t trivialize it by saying that ‘I understand’ in any way. I can only imagine it’s the deepest of losses. I wish I could hug you right now. And I wish I could express just how deeply sorry I am.
    You are in my prayers and will continue to be as you and your husband go through this extremely difficult time. Although it doesn’t make the pain on earth any less real or sharp, always remember that the loving Father is holding your little one right now… and you will see your baby one day in heaven.
    I am so sorry! Sending lots of love and prayers!

  3. Pingback: Grief, Loss, and Thanksgiving (Part 4) | Katy's Life Story

  4. Pingback: Grateful Encouragement |

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