What Is My Calling?

When it came to what I wanted to do when I grew up, I had a lot of ideas as a kid.  I could never settle on just one.  I loved learning.  I loved new experiences.  I loved people.  I was always taught that whatever I did, I do to glorify God.  But I don’t think I really understood that until after I graduated college,

Up to that point, I had many jobs.  I had worked in a pharmacy and in a library. I waitressed, tutored, and fundraised for colleges.  I interned one summer for a children’s ministry.  I did two other internships for my video major in both a state police department and an ABC affiliated news station.

I assumed I would be following the track laid out for me by my degree, because that’s what you are supposed to do.  But when I didn’t get the job I thought I would, I settled for working for a local newspaper, driving around town collecting quarters out of the machines.  I was working weird hours, and even with a second job, I was still just barely paying my bills.

I remember one morning sitting outside of a Piggly Wiggly, in the middle of my newspaper coin collecting route.  I had just fished quarters out of yet another bug infested machine, in the middle of a sticky, summer morning. I got back to my car with the quarters and just cried.  I had no idea what I was doing with my life, but I didn’t want to be where I was anymore.

I remembered a moment my senior year when I gave my dating life over to God and it worked out pretty well.  I met Michael soon after.  So, I figured I would bargain with God once again.  I prayed that I didn’t know what I was doing, and that if He would only give me an eight to five job that can pay my bills, then I would do whatever he sent me to do.  Within a week, I had found, applied, interviewed, and was accepted to a new job as an assistant to a paralegal in a law firm.

That job opened my eyes to what God can do with a simple frustrated prayer.  I worked my way up to heading my own department, helping people get their Social Security Disability.  I walked that journey with each client, crying and celebrating with them.  I developed relationships with my coworkers as well.  When I moved to Dallas with my husband, my boss made it possible for me to continue working for the firm from home.  They walked with me through both my miscarriages.  They became my part of my family.

Then, I realized what God’s calling was for me.  It wasn’t to try to find that one passion in my life to pursue, but instead to pursue God with passion, to be obedient where I am no matter what I’m doing.  And when it’s time to go to a new opportunity, to move towards that with a trust that God is in control, not me.

At the beginning of this year, I had this feeling that my career was going to change, but even in my wildest theories, I was still working for this firm.  In February, I got a call from a missions organization here in Dallas.  I knew the executive director and his family, who are a part of our small group.  He had an opening for a part time administrative position, and his first thought was me.

My first reaction was excitement.  I knew a lot about this mission organization because I had worked on the missions committee at my church and our committee worked closely with them.  I know that they have trained and inspired churches and individual people to become more mission minded, and to be on the front row of that kind of work, in my mind, is quite an epic opportunity.

But it also meant leaving my family at the law firm.  The people who had been there through good and rough times in my adult life.  People I love.  To say the decision was difficult was an understatement.  The director said to take all the time I needed to make the decision, and throughout the month of February, there were many sleepless nights.

Now, I don’t believe that you have to work in a missions organization or some type of specific ministry to follow God’s calling.  I believe that my work with that law firm was just as much God’s calling in my life as this new opportunity. The missions job isn’t more godly because it’s missions.  I knew I could honor God by staying with the firm as well, so it didn’t make the decision easy.

When I was officially offered the position, I immediately called my boss, who is a mentor in my life.  He said to me, “Of course, I would want you to stay here, but if God is calling you, I want you to listen to God’s calling.  It just further exemplifies how amazing this opportunity has been to work at this firm.  But I know that in taking this new position, God will work in my life to stretch and grow me in new ways.  So, I took the job.

I begin tomorrow, April 1st.  My last day at the firm was yesterday.  It will be quite the roller coaster of emotions this week, but I’m so excited to see where God takes me with this new job.  Trusting God has been the only thing in my life that truly seems to work, and I hope and pray that no matter where I go or what I do, that I do it in accordance with God’s calling in my life.

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4 thoughts on “What Is My Calling?

  1. You are a wonderful writer and yes I feel that that along with your other passions, that writing is one part of Gods plan for you.

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