When I meet someone new, the inevitable question is “do you have kids?” which would make sense in my surrounding culture. I’ve been married now for almost 8 years. I’m pretty upfront with my miscarriages, and it leads to great conversation most of the time. But at some point, usually towards the end of the conversation, I get the statement “Well, you are going to be a great mom someday,” or something to that effect.
And then I slightly cringe inside.
Now, before I go on, I want to make it clear that my reaction has nothing to do with whether or not I believe God will give me children someday. I know that the comment is meant to encourage faith, but I think that it can send the wrong message.
Because who I am right now is pretty great. I volunteer. I work with a great mission organization who supports spreading the Kingdom of God within relationships. My husband tells me I’m a pretty awesome wife. And my friends tell me I’m a pretty great friend as well.
But even if I wasn’t those things, I am for certain one incredibly awesome thing. I am a daughter to the Most High King. I am a beloved creation of God. And that gives me more value than anything I have been, will be or am today.
I don’t think that message is communicated enough. And it goes for any life stage. If you are in high school, you have to be thinking about college. If you are in college, it’s all about your career. If you are single, it’s about getting married. If you are married, it’s about having kids. If you have kids, then it’s all about your kids and whatever stage they should be at, or how they should be behaving. The cycle begins again.
You don’t have to prove the worth you already have. God has a purpose for your life right now. The things you are going through, experiencing or even missing, all of it can be used by God through you to further the Kingdom. And your worth isn’t wrapped up in what you do but in who you are. You are a beloved creation, a child of the Most High King. You are loved. You have value. And you are enough, right where you are.