I’ve been sitting, looking at the blinking cursor in front of me for a little while. I have so many words to say, and yet, none at all. A year ago tomorrow will be exactly one year since I found out I was no longer pregnant. November 26th, Thanksgiving Day this year, is the day I went into the hospital and gave birth to my stillborn baby girl.
I’m only working one day this week. And I have plans with family for Thanksgiving. So I have things to do but I have no idea how I will be when I am doing them. I know to give myself a lot of space and grace. I’m taking it one day at a time.
I do want to take a moment to acknowledge some of the blessings I’ve experienced this month leading up to this week. I’m thankful for a husband who does his amazing best to be there for me in the sad moments. I’m thankful for random, loving texts from friends and family. I’m thankful for a church community and a workplace that surround me with love. I’m thankful for the SPCA who allow me to use their dogs for my own brand of therapy. I’m thankful for my own dogs who shower me with kisses and snuggles just when I need it.
I have no idea how the rest of this week will go, but right now that doesn’t matter. What matters is taking the next step, breathing the next breath, and living the next moment. I don’t think I’m going to write again this week. I want to give myself some time to just focus on the present. I’ll be back next Monday. So, Happy Thanksgiving. I am so thankful for all of you.