Hope and Anxiety

Ever since my miscarriage, my body has acted weird.  So it came as no surprise when I was six days late for my period.  The same thing happened in June and in September.  I took a pregnancy test last Tuesday, and it was negative.  As the week was coming to a close, I was actually getting frustrated that I wasn’t starting.  This weekend was Easter and I had a lot to do.  I had no time to stop and deal with the pain that has become my period.

Then, on Friday, I took another test, just before I was going to leave to pick up my husband to head to our church gathering for Good Friday.  Two lines.  I’m pregnant.  I did one of those pee in a cup types, so I grabbed a couple more tests just to check.  Again and again.  Two lines.

You guys, I’m pregnant.  Maybe third times the charm?  That evening, I read out of Lamentations, and I started crying at these verses.

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
    for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion;
    therefore I will wait for him.”

Lamentations 3: 22-24

We do have a hope in God, but I am also human. I’m anxious.  Maybe even a little scared.  I know how this could end.  I’ve been there twice.  In fact, this is the same timeline as my first pregnancy that I miscarried around Mother’s Day.  But I also know that God is faithful.  And no matter how this one goes, he’s walking beside me the whole way.

Pray for us, of course, but jump around and be excited as well!  God is our Hope and our Refuge.  And today, Easter Sunday, should be a day of great celebration!

7 thoughts on “Hope and Anxiety

  1. theskyandback

    Congrats, friend! What wonderful news! I completely understand the fear, but as you said, today is for celebration. Joy is now and today you are pregnant! Sending love and hope your way.

  2. Erin

    Congratulations! I think it’s completely normal to have anxiety and fear, you just can’t live in those emotions too long. Sending you and baby lots of love and prayers!

  3. Shannon Paige

    Congrats!! Im sorry you had to go through 2 heartbreaks- but i feel like you may have come across that passage for a reason. Seems meant to be, all we can do is stay strong and keep trying


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