Today is 100 days until my due date. This is the longest I have been pregnant, and I am a mixture of relief, excitement, anxiety, and hope.
In my morning devotional, I came across the verse in Romans 5.
Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.
Last year, I wrote a blog about the scar I received when I was three in a car accident, how I loved to tell the story of God protecting our family that night. It was the first of many stories I would tell about how God has interceded in my life. Each of these stories is important to remember because there will come a time when I will suffer again, when I will face my demons and my fears, and one of the things I have in my arsenal is the stories of God’s intercession.
Also, it’s not our own strength that allows us to persevere through this suffering, but the strength we receive from the Holy Spirit. In the very next verse, it talks about
“God’s love [that] has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.”
If my suffering has taught me anything, it’s that I can’t do this alone and that I’m not alone. My stories remind me of this, but God also sends me reminders all the time. A conversation with my mom or a close friend. A beautiful sunrise. A song on the radio.
Which brings me to a song I recently heard, one that my husband was touched by as well. It’s a song by Hilary Scott, a member of the Lady Antebellum band. Before I even knew the story behind the song, I knew what it was about. Because I said every single one of the words spoken in this song two years ago when we found out our daughter had passed away.
Eerily, word for word, my prayers played over the soft music, and tears began to fall. With Michael holding my hand, I allowed myself to remember. Remember the heartache, the frustration, the desperate calls out to God. I remember His promises. I remember that He is good to those who love him. I know that He walked by my side every moment of my pregnancy two years ago, and He walks with me now in these 100 days, through elation, excitement, anxiety, and hope.