I’m more apprehensive about this post than I was about my previous two posts. Of course, this is what is best for us and for me right now, and I know I will have the support of my friends and family. It’s just still a little difficult to share because of the stigma that is attached it these kinds of decisions.
Before we lost our daughter, Michael and I decided that it would be best for me to stay home after she was born. Basically, it would cost the same for me to work part time and pay for daycare as it would for me to stay home. And given that choice, staying home made the most sense.
After we found out she had passed, we were faced with the decision – do I stop working like we planned, or do I try to continue working? I remember how hard it was for me to go back to work after my first daughter died. I ended up switching careers just a few months later. Also, last week, the doctor discussed how the next pregnancy would have more doctor appointments and more tests. I knew that would be difficult to balance even with a part time job.
So, we decided that it would be best for me to stop working. My last day at the non-profit will be this Friday. After that, I will continue focusing on the healing process. I want to get to a healthier place – physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I want to set in place good habits that will carry into my next pregnancy and beyond. Then, once I get cleared by the doctors, we hope to start trying again.
I’m anxious to start this new normal. I am both intimidated and excited. I plan to continue writing, especially on wherever this new journey will take me. I also hope to get back into working with dogs, both with pet sitting and through volunteering at the SPCA, although I don’t know to what extent that will be. For now, I’m taking it one day/hour/moment at a time, just trying to make healthy choices towards recovery. Again, thank you for walking through this with me, in your prayers or in person.