Where We Go From Here…

I’m more apprehensive about this post than I was about my previous two posts.  Of course, this is what is best for us and for me right now, and I know I will have the support of my friends and family.  It’s just still a little difficult to share because of the stigma that is attached it these kinds of decisions.

Before we lost our daughter, Michael and I decided that it would be best for me to stay home after she was born.  Basically, it would cost the same for me to work part time and pay for daycare as it would for me to stay home.  And given that choice, staying home made the most sense.

After we found out she had passed, we were faced with the decision – do I stop working like we planned, or do I try to continue working?  I remember how hard it was for me to go back to work after my first daughter died.  I ended up switching careers just a few months later.  Also, last week, the doctor discussed how the next pregnancy would have more doctor appointments and more tests.  I knew that would be difficult to balance even with a part time job.

So, we decided that it would be best for me to stop working.  My last day at the non-profit will be this Friday.  After that, I will continue focusing on the healing process.  I want to get to a healthier place – physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.  I want to set in place good habits that will carry into my next pregnancy and beyond.  Then, once I get cleared by the doctors, we hope to start trying again.

I’m anxious to start this new normal.  I am both intimidated and excited.  I plan to continue writing, especially on wherever this new journey will take me.  I also hope to get back into working with dogs, both with pet sitting and through volunteering at the SPCA, although I don’t know to what extent that will be.  For now, I’m taking it one day/hour/moment at a time, just trying to make healthy choices towards recovery.  Again, thank you for walking through this with me, in your prayers or in person.

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8 thoughts on “Where We Go From Here…”

  1. Katy I know how hard this is for you. I have always knew you had a strong faith and what ever God plans for you, you will win through.

  2. Wow, losing 1 daughter, let alone two. I cannot imagine what you are going through… it sounds like you definitely need time to be at peace with yourself. But if you feel like working and being distracted will be good, then do that. You have to do what’s best for you!

  3. […] once I knew that I would no longer be working at the nonprofit, I started to make a plan of healing. Of course, I would be healing from giving birth, and that […]

  4. […] died, I stayed at home instead of just taking time off and going back to work.  I talked about that in this post.  I no longer have an outside expectation to be somewhere on a daily or weekly basis, so I could […]

  5. […] have a few things left to order or buy in the stores.  Plus this year is a little different since I stopped working in September.  So if you are like me, and you still have a bit left to do and you are on a budget, here are 10 […]

  6. […] When I stopped working, I had this overwhelming sense of responsibility to keep the house in perfect working order.  It was something I put on myself, and when I fell behind for whatever reason, I would crash, feeling absolutely horrible.  But the reality is that I am more than just a housekeeper.  I have a life and friends and responsibilities outside of my house, and I can’t keep stressing out.  In fact, the whole reason we decided that I would stay at home was to learn how to deal with stress, not transfer it onto a whole new set of rules! […]

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