When I had my first miscarriage, I didn’t feel like there was much conversation about pregnancy loss in the media or in my community. One of the consequences of silence is the isolation women feel when they are going through their grief. That’s why I talk about it. It’s why I’m open about our journey, even though I have no idea where it will go.
But in the last three years, pregnancy loss has become more of a conversation in the media. The Zuckerbergs coming forth about their fertility struggles. Jay-Z included a small tribute to the baby he and Beyonce lost in one of his rap songs. Courtney Cox, Nicole Kidman, and Pink have all been open about the losses they have had in their life.
Maybe it’s because I’m more sensitive to this subject right now, but I have noticed this Fall TV season has had a lot of discussion about pregnancy loss. The timing of these shows make it difficult for me to be able to watch them on a continuous basis, but I wanted to share some of the scenes that impacted me most.
This is Us.
I can’t watch this show right now, but I still wanted to see this scene play out. I feel the same way this doctor felt about the loss of his first child. I feel like my daughters have put me on a path that will go on to help others who struggle, not just with pregnancy loss, but with all kinds of grief. Whether that’s on this blog or a conversation over lemonade.
Life in Pieces
There isn’t a clip from this past week’s episode, but I caught the tail end of the season premiere while waiting to watch Pure Genius, and I was caught off guard. The family had found out that Greg and Jen were expecting another child, but what they didn’t know was that Jen had miscarried. They had planned a surprise shower, but after Greg told them what happened, they tried to hide the evidence of the shower as best they could. But in the last scene, Jen came across a onesie meant for their daughter announcing that she would be a big sister, and Jen left the room upset. It was at that point, the matriarch of the family, Joan, followed Jen and shared her own miscarriage story. It’s a different story than the “This is Us” story, but it proves that no two pregnancy losses are dealt with the same way.
While this wasn’t pregnancy loss per se, there was a pregnancy with severe complications in the first episode. The mother had lymphoma, and the pregnancy itself was a miracle. But a miracle with a lot of complications, which resulted in the baby being born very prematurely. While the ending of the episode was less realistic due to the use of the technological advances in the show, it did show the struggle and anxiety that women can go through being pregnant with a real chance of losing their baby.
I’m glad that this has become more of a conversation in our mainstream culture, but we have a long way to go in the way we talk about loss and grief. Allowing others to process the changes in their life in their own time, grieving the way they need to grieve. Sharing our own stories to encourage and embolden others on our journey. Acknowledging their value and worth with love and respect.
Whether we have experienced loss in our lives yet or not, we can still be beacons of hope and love to each other. And having stories shared through television or celebrities is a good start, but we need to also be willing to be open to those around us, whether by sharing or just listening. Unafraid of what life may bring because we are all walking this road together with a God who faithfully walks beside us.
Have you seen any other episodes lately where the writers accurately portrayed pregnancy loss or the real anxieties that come with pregnancy?