Lately, I’ve been in a very contemplative, and when I get into these kinds of moods, I like to listen to music that reflects that mood. So, I just searched for Pregnancy Loss music playlists on YouTube and found a host of songs. Not all of the songs really spoke to me, but I wanted to share a few that really affected me deeply.
Ed Sheeran – Small Bump
He wrote this song for a friend who lost their baby five months into the pregnancy. It was the first song that spoke of the pain I was feeling in my own loss during my first miscarriage. I had no idea how much more this song would mean to me now.
Hillary Scott & The Scott Family – Thy Will
I wrote about this last year, just a couple of weeks before I lost my second daughter. I remember last year, in the months after my daughter was stillborn, I would be in the fetal position in the middle of the living room, ugly crying/screaming, while this song played through the speakers. “Remember that you’re God and I’m not so, Thy will be done”. That kind of desperate surrender is something I can relate to.
Beam Me Up – P!nk
This is a song that P!nk wrote for a friend who had lost a child. I heard this one more recently, but it definitely is relatable to pregnancy loss as well. “Give me a minute, I don’t know what I’d say in it, I’d probably just stare, happy just to be there, holding your face.” It talks about being in a parallel universe where the child doesn’t die. What I wouldn’t give to spend just a minute staring into the eyes of my daughters.
I Will Carry You (Audrey’s Song) – Selah
This is the most recent song I’ve found, even though the song has been around for a while. It perfectly reflects my feelings on most day. And my favorite line is “I will praise the One who’s chosen me to carry you.” I think sometimes it’s easy to just ask why my daughters were taken instead of realizing that I was chosen to carry these two very special girls for as long as they were on this earth. It doesn’t diminish me as a mother or them as my daughters. And that is simply beautiful.
I know that there are other songs that are written about pregnancy loss or other kinds of loss that have been helpful to other people. But these are the ones that speak to me right now.
Do you have any special songs that help you get through tough times or give you peace during the storms?