In this season of my life, Bible study looks completely different than it did a year ago.
At first, I felt a little guilty. My Bible study didn’t look like what I thought it was supposed to look like. But then I realized that it doesn’t have to be the Instagram picture in my head of the early morning time, with a cup of tea or coffee, an open Bible along with a pen and notebook.
While it still includes some prayer journal time at night, my mornings include a verse or two of scripture on my own, and then some kids worship songs with the boy (he is loving Father Abraham). Last year, I dug in deep on some of my favorite women of the Bible which then led to some more digging into genealogy and wherever my curiosity took me. But right now, with the unpredictable nature of my day, that just isn’t feasible.
That’s when I realized Bible study can be all the above things, but it can also be other things. My time in the Word has changed depending on my circumstances over the last five years, and they seem to fall into three categories.
Teach me your way, O Lord, that I may walk in your truth; unite my heart to fear your name. Psalm 86:1
This is the digging deep time. It’s diving into the stories of men and women in the Bible, allowing my curiosities to guide me. It may lead to studying a particular book or workbook that will challenge me, not just mentally but spiritually as well. It’s the stretching and reaching part of a study that I love to do, and when I do, I get obsessed.
“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” Psalm 46:1
Right after I lost my daughter, I needed God. I needed his comfort. I spent more time journaling than I read during this time, but I did lean on verses and stories in the Bible that bring me that comfort. When I find a verse that soothes my soul, I write it down for these particular moments.
But also, I would listen to music. I feel like God’s Word and his promise can play out in music. I would ball up on the floor, crying my eyes out, just playing the same songs over and over. Songs that remind me that God hasn’t forsaken me.
“Behold, God is my helper. The Lord is the one who sustains my soul.” Psalm 55:4
This is where I am now. There are times I don’t even know what day it is. Everything is just running together as I am caring for this little boy in my arms. I don’t have the time for challenging study, but I still need something to sustain. So, if it’s just a verse or two, that’s okay. And if I find an interesting curiosity, I write it down for later when I have more time to follow up.
I no longer feel guilty if I don’t have 30 minutes every day to devote to Bible study or prayer or worship. Someday I will have that time to dig deep. Someday I may need those moments of comfort. But for now, I do what I need to sustain my relationship with God, even if it’s only for a few moments today.
I know that I’m not the only one who has felt this way. And I’m also wanting a little accountability. So, on Fridays, the plan is to share something I read or listened to that week from one of these categories (to be honest, it will probably being the sustaining category for a while). I’m excited to try this, and I encourage you to share a verse or song that’s speaking to you as well!