In my readings this week, the verse that hit me was:
For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. – Ephesians 2:10
Usually, this verse takes on an evangelical slant for me. That the people I reach out to, the community I serve, were prepared for me and I was prepared for them.
But then I think about my response to my loss. In the years and decades leading up to that moment of no heartbeat, God had been preparing me. The faith I exhibited wasn’t because of something I did, something I prepared for. Who prepares for things like that? Who knows what is to come?
But God did. In the conversations with friends going through infertility years before we even thought about having kids. In the classes that showed a bigger picture of God’s world. Even in the practice of yoga that reminded me to breathe and take each moment in slowly. Grief therapy came at the perfect moments. A therapist who had walked my path before me. God was preparing it all.
And he’s not done. Through this journey, he’s preparing me to do good works for others. To minister to women who are walking this path. To show compassion to those hurting from the loss in their lives. To give grace and space to others around me.
He gives purpose to pain. And I am ever grateful for it.