A couple of months ago, my therapist told me that in these coming months, it would be okay for me to only have enough energy for my son, my husband and myself.  When she told me this, even in giving me permission to embrace this truth, I still felt a twinge of guilt.  It’s not that I feel like I have to “do it all” or “have it all” or even “be put together.”  But I had never realized just how much energy played into life until this season of my life.

Energy is like time or money.  You have a finite amount to spend each day.  Some people have more than others.  You can gain more by doing certain things, but there will be other things that you must do that will drain a certain amount of it.  Being intentional about it and trying to plan ahead can always be helpful.  But the biggest lesson I have learned about it was being honest about exactly how much I’m working with.

It’s like the person who lives beyond their monetary means.  They can fake it for a while, but eventually, the collectors will come and expose the truth.

Or like the person who assumes they have more time to complete a task than they really do, and then find themselves rushing at the last minute, throwing everything together.

When my energy is low, I’m grumpy and cranky.  I don’t think clearly, and I say things that don’t really make a lot of sense or aren’t really what I’m trying to say.  My anxiety is higher.

There are things I can do to help boost my energy – eating healthy foods, exercise, yoga, and sleeping.  Admittedly, I’m not consistently great at these things, and I feel the difference by the end of the day.

I learned that there are already drains on my energy throughout my day, and I have to make allowances for these.  One example would be my anxiety.  When I am having a particularly anxious day, I know that I will need to be careful how I spend my energy that day.

Interruptions come up, and I have to adjust and flex accordingly, but for me, prioritizing the rhythms of my day so that I know I can take care of what is important to me is the main focus in my life.  It’s where my intentionality really shows up.  For instance, I have embraced the fact that I’m definitely an “early to bed, early to rise” kind of person.  So, I have leaned into that rhythm, prioritizing most of my activities earlier in the day.

I’m still learning how to move through life with the amount of energy I’m given each day.  I don’t have it all completely figured out, but it’s been a really interesting reflection on life in general.  I also know that all of this will change.  But I am seeing it as an opportunity to continue learning about myself and the world around me.