Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.
The last five years in our family have been quite a ride. We experienced unexplained pregnancy loss over and over again. Disappointment. Isolation. Pain. And then, last year, a pregnancy that ended in a perfectly healthy baby boy.
And the honest truth is that there is a part of me that wants to forget the last five years. All the pain and heartache just put away on a shelf. Door closed. Never mentioned again.
But not only would that dishonor the memory of my two daughters, but it would dishonor what God did in my life as well. God walked beside me the whole way, showed how my pain had a purpose, how I could use my disappointments and grief to show compassion to others walking the same path.
I want my son to know that when he meets disappointments in his life, when his expectations aren’t met, that it doesn’t change his worth or value in God’s eyes. That the God we serve doesn’t forsake us, doesn’t leave us, but instead guides us and whispers hope into our hearts. That being still and slowing down are important skills.
It’s part of the reason I’m writing my book. To remember. To honor. To have something solid to point to when I’m telling my son the story of his sisters and a God who will always be there.