Continuing the Conversation

I want to continue sharing other people’s stories or articles from around the internet, so here are three new posts to share.

Why Michelle Obama’s revelation that she had a miscarriage and did IVF matters

There were a lot of articles about this particular story, but it encourages me that so many sites found this important.  In Michelle Obama’s recently released memoir (November 13, 2018), Becoming, she talks about her own difficulty in getting pregnant, having a miscarriage and using IVF.  Needless to say, I will be picking up this book as soon as I can!

#WorthTheWait Series

Los Angeles photographer, Amanda Naor, after her own journey with infertility, offers a free photo session to one couple who have recently had their child after struggling with infertility each month.  She shares these stories in beautiful photographs.

Recovering After a Miscarriage

Psychology Today posted an article about the many healthy things one can do after a miscarriage.  The list touches on a lot of things but also with the caveat that not everyone will follow the same exact path.  For example, talking to others or not talking to others as two options, but also stresses the importance of being mindful about depression and taking care of yourself. If you have never experienced pregnancy loss or infertility, I can guarantee there is someone in your life who has.  While the above stories may not be the same experiences for everyone, they can definitely open that window to more understanding and empathy for what everyone goes through.  And for those of you who are in the midst of these unknowns or losses, you are not alone.  May these words uplift and encourage you today. Do you have any posts or articles that have touched you or compelled you to share?
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Continuing the Conversation

I want to continue sharing other people’s stories or articles from around the internet, so here are three new posts to share.

This Is Why We Chose To Talk About Black Women And Infertility

Black women are less likely to seek out support or medical help when dealing with infertility, even though they are twice as likely to have miscarriages compared to white women.  This Women Magazine article explores this phenomenon and why it’s so important to talk about it and share our stories.

Wauwatosa native to be honored for using art to express emotional toll of infertility and transform change

I love when people find ways to tell their story of infertility or loss through other mediums.  There are a few pictures of her art on the page, but if this exhibit ever got closer to me, I would definitely check it out!

Five things not to say to someone who has had a miscarriage

Anytime I find lists like these, I just feel like I have to share them.  I can’t share them enough.  These are still things that I’ve heard people say to me or to other women who have had miscarriages or stillbirths.  This particular article out of Ireland covers a lot in just five statements.

If you have never experienced pregnancy loss or infertility, I can guarantee there is someone in your life who has.  While the above stories may not be the same experiences for everyone, they can definitely open that window to more understanding and empathy for what everyone goes through.  And for those of you who are in the midst of these unknowns or losses, you are not alone.  May these words uplift and encourage you today.

Do you have any posts or articles that have touched you or compelled you to share?

Continuing the Conversation

I want to continue sharing other people’s stories or articles from around the internet, so here are three new posts to share.

Suffering in silence: the ‘secret life of infertile women’ laid bare – Paulina Billett is an Austrailian woman who has experienced infertility, and that journey put her in touch with several other women who have had this experience.  She has written a book about this (I don’t know if it’s available in the US yet.  I did find it on the Target website, but not yet available).  The article touched on a lot of things women go through when they are in the infertility journey, especially the isolation.

‘Don’t Talk About the Baby’ highlights infant loss and miscarriage – A new documentary based in Seattle is coming out about Pregnancy and Infant Loss.  The two women who are interviewed in this video have experienced loss but also know a ton about it.  One of them leads support groups in the Seattle area, and the other wrote a book called Not Broken Illustrated for those who have had a loss.

How To Remember And Honor The Babies We’ve Lost –  If you haven’t noticed yet, I love Scary Mommy articles because they are across the board of loss and perspective.  I loved the little poem at the beginning of this article, but it also includes suggestions for those who want to help someone who is grieving.  Of course, the disclaimer is that not everyone grieves the same way so please use a little caution when implementing any suggestions found on the internet.  That said, these resonated with me so they might be helpful to you.

If you have never experienced pregnancy loss or infertility, I can guarantee there is someone in your life who has.  While the above stories may not be the same experiences for everyone, they can definitely open that window to more understanding and empathy for what everyone goes through.  And for those of you who are in the midst of these unknowns or losses, you are not alone.  May these words uplift and encourage you today.

Do you have any posts or articles that have touched you or compelled you to share?

Continuing the Conversation

I want to continue sharing other people’s stories or articles from around the internet, so here are three new posts to share.

I’m pregnant after having a miscarriage — and learning that grief has a ripple effect – Sandy Jorgenson was blissfully unaware of pregnancy loss during her first pregnancy.  But when that was followed by a 9-week miscarriage and secondary infertility, it opened a whole new world.  In this Washington Post article, she talks about getting pregnant for a third time, after her miscarriage, and all of the grief that comes with it.  I definitely related to this article on a personal level, especially the part about using the Doppler pretty much on a daily basis during my last pregnancy.

There are several types of miscarriage, but none are talked about enough – Really great informational article.  Katie Gagnon shares the definition of what a miscarriage is (a loss before 20 weeks) and also describes different types of miscarriage.  It really only focuses on miscarriages, not stillbirths or infant loss.  It’s not really something I would share with someone who is presently pregnant, as it is kind of anxiety-inducing, but it does show just how little control the mama has during a pregnancy.  There are also some helpful links at the bottom of the article for those who are feeling isolated after having pregnancy loss.

Not Every Miscarriage Results in Grief and That’s OK –  The title is a little misleading.  Amy Keller Laird shares her miscarriage story and how she didn’t have what she thought should have been the right grief reaction.  The reality is that there isn’t necessarily a “right” reaction.  As she continues with her story, you find out why she had the reaction that she did and more about her “reproductive story.”  It’s beautiful and worth a read.

If you have never experienced pregnancy loss or infertility, I can guarantee there is someone in your life who has.  While the above stories may not be the same experiences for everyone, they can definitely open that window to more understanding and empathy for what everyone goes through.  And for those of you who are in the midst of these unknowns or losses, you are not alone.  May these words uplift and encourage you today.

Do you have any posts or articles that have touched you or compelled you to share?

Continuing the Conversation

I want to continue sharing other people’s stories or articles from around the internet, so here are three new posts to share.

I Didn’t Have A Miscarriage — I Had A Stillbirth – Some people refer to my losses as miscarriages.  Yes, the first one was a miscarriage, but the other two were stillbirths.  And they are different.  In this article, it talks about pretty much all of my fears and experience (except that my daughters did not pass away from the same as her daughter did and they had a child before having the loss).  It includes statistics and what it was like to have a stillbirth 40 years ago.

What Women Really Need After a Miscarriage – There is so much truth in this article. It’s about the needs for community and understanding.  The fact that a lot of miscarriages and stillbirths are swept under the rug by bystanders instead of treated like the losses that they are.  And how some women responded and changed after their loss.  Really good article for this month, especially.

Netflix’s ‘Private Life’ is the first not-cute comedy about infertility –  A new show on Netflix that follows the life of a couple in their 40s who are trying to get pregnant.  It covers things like IVF and artificial insemination with truth and honesty.  Also, I like Kathryn Hahn as an actress, so that’s a plus.

If you have never experienced pregnancy loss or infertility, I can guarantee there is someone in your life who has.  While the above stories may not be the same experiences for everyone, they can definitely open that window to more understanding and empathy for what everyone goes through.  And for those of you who are in the midst of these unknowns or losses, you are not alone.  May these words uplift and encourage you today.

Do you have any posts or articles that have touched you or compelled you to share?

Remembrance Day 2018

This month is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month, and this Monday, October 15th, it will be Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.  In 2016 and 2017, Michael and I have spent this day with the pregnancy loss community in a balloon release.

This year, we won’t be participating publicly, but we are going to light our candle on the day.  At 7pm CST, we plan to light a candle for each of our daughters to remember them.  This is the time set aside for all loss families to light a candle and remember together, no matter where they are.  I would encourage you to light a candle and remember with them.  It means so much to have my daughters remembered.  And I know I’m not the only one who feels that way.

If you are a loss mom or dad, you are loved and your children are loved.  You are not alone, and we grieve with you.

Continuing the Conversation

I want to continue sharing other people’s stories or articles from around the internet, so here are three new posts to share.

My Infertility Inspired Me to Become a Birth Photographer – This photographer experienced infertility and IVF before becoming a mom for the first time.  But her birth story included an emergency c-section which made the whole process rushed.  In those moments, she wished she had documented more, taken more pictures, which then inspired her to become a birth photographer.  Having a healthy baby and recording this journey can be such an important way to help other women.  As of posting this, her personal site is under maintenance, but there is a video of her work included in the post above.

This Powerful Photo Series Is Raising Awareness About Miscarriage And Loss – Rise for Women created a photo series on Facebook with women who share their journeys of pregnancy loss and infertility, plus what people have said to them.  It’s absolutely perfect.  The linked article shows a few of them, but it also links to the Facebook page as well.

Even after a miscarriage, I will always be my baby’s father –  Washington Post article that recounts a very similar experience to my own but coming from the father’s perspective.  I don’t often see a lot of articles like this, so when I do, I want to share it.  Because men are not alone in their grief either.

If you have never experienced pregnancy loss or infertility, I can guarantee there is someone in your life who has.  While the above stories may not be the same experiences for everyone, they can definitely open that window to more understanding and empathy for what everyone goes through.  And for those of you who are in the midst of these unknowns or losses, you are not alone.  May these words uplift and encourage you today.

Do you have any posts or articles that have touched you or compelled you to share?