Tag Archives: Jesus

The Way to Pentecost: The Final Words of Jesus

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Most of the stories of Jesus after the resurrection come from the first day, the morning that announced Jesus had risen. But there were 40 days between that day and the day of Pentecost. In John 20:30-31, the writer says that Jesus performed many other signs that weren’t recorded, but what was written was done so for the purpose that others may believe. He reiterates this at the end of his book in John 21:25 that says, “Jesus did many other things as well. If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written.”

What is fascinating is not what is left out, but what each gospel writer chose to keep in, particularly with the final conversations of Jesus. Final words hold great importance to people, the last words before passing on, both to the speaker and to the ones being left behind. What these writers chose to include shows what message they were trying to convey.

The Ascension painting, St James Bermondsey by Stephen Craven is licensed under CC-BY-SA 2.0

In Matthew, the writer doesn’t share much after resurrection, except for the corruption of the religious leaders. The angels at the tomb instruct the women to tell the eleven disciples to meet Jesus on a mountain in Galilee. At this mountain, Jesus gives a great commission, telling others to make disciples of all nations, promising them that he will be with them to the very end of the age.

Matthew was written for the purpose of showing the Jewish people Jesus’ role of fulfilling scripture. These final words, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me” is the main thesis of this book. The entire book is written to support that claim. And the if/then statement follows. If Jesus has all authority, then we are called to go make disciples and teach them as Jesus taught.

Mark does include a similar commission, though some early manuscripts don’t include it. While Matthew’s commission was pointing towards the authority of Jesus, Mark’s commission was more about the authority being passed on to the disciples. Also, after the final words, Jesus’ ascension is recorded as well.

Luke is much more detailed and reliant on extensive witness testimony. The writer differs with Matthew on where Jesus met with his disciples, though really since Matthew does not mention the ascension as well, these could have been two different conversations. But in the book of Luke, it just briefly mentions his ascension outside of Bethany and blessing the disciples.

It’s in Luke’s second book, Acts, that goes into more detail. Jesus is eating with the disciples when he gives them the commission to go into all the world and witness to others about Jesus after receiving the Holy Spirit. It runs the same thread as in the other books that the commission is to reach every person and tell them the gospel.

And even though John doesn’t include the commission or the ascension to the disciples, he does tell more intimate stories of Jesus and his relationships with people like Peter and Thomas. Technically, he does give a commission to Peter to feed his sheep. It’s probably my favorite perspective of the gospels, showcasing his relationship with his friends even after he rose from the dead. He still cared and still wanted them to continue the work he started.

The common thread through the final words recorded of Jesus is that Jesus calls his disciples to witness, to serve, to love, to heal, to teach others the love that Jesus showed to them. I believe he calls us to do the same. To continue the work he started. The work that the disciples continued on that day of Pentecost.

The Way to Pentecost: Peter and Shame

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So, now Jesus has appeared to the majority, if not all, of his disciples. Most of the recorded appearances, with the exception of Thomas, happened on that first day of the resurrection. But now, we are well into the forty days before Pentecost. After the encounter of Thomas, John writes that there were many other encounters with his disciples that aren’t recorded. However, he includes one more story before ending the book.

Peter, Thomas, James, John, a man named Nathanael, and two other disciples were together by the Sea of Galilee. Peter suggests they go fishing. Maybe it was to get a bit of money, maybe hunger, maybe nostalgia drove them to get out into the boat, but when they did, they didn’t catch anything.

And there appears Jesus on the shore. Of course, they don’t know it is him, but they engage in a conversation with him where he tells them to cast their nets on the right side of the boat. And when they did, they couldn’t pull it up because it was so full of fish.

John was the one who says, “It is the Lord,” but I wonder if that moment took Peter back to very early in his relationship with Jesus. In Luke 5, Peter, along with his brother Andrew, were on the shore cleaning nets when this rabbi comes with a large group of people. It’s so large the Jesus requests to get in Peter’s boat so that he could speak to the crowd. Peter obliges. After he speaks to the crowd, Jesus tells Peter to lower his nets after another unsuccessful fishing trip. Then, too, the nets were filled to capacity. It is then that Jesus offers to make Peter a fisher of men, and Peter follows him.

Jesus Calling to St. Peter and St. Andrew by Dirk Vellert (Netherlandish, 1480/85-1547) is licensed under CC-CC0 1.0

But as soon as John says, It is the Lord, Peter jumps out of the boat (which is also a habit he does around Jesus, though I think he just swam to shore this time instead of walking on water). Together on shore, Jesus eats with them, both fish and bread (another shout out to feeding the 5000?) And then he speaks to Peter, directly.

Three times, Jesus asks him if Peter loves him, and three times, Peter says yes. Later in the story, Peter turns and sees John following them, so this may have been a very private conversation between Peter and Jesus. By the third time, Peter is hurt that Jesus is asking, but I think it was important for Peter to make this statement three times after the three denials he made before Jesus’ crucifixion.

Photo by Julia Kuzenkov on Pexels.com

Imagine the guilt and shame Peter was holding onto then. The man who he swore to protect, to fight for, even cutting off the ear of a servant, ready for war, he denied even knowing. And when he realized what he had done, he wept bitterly. When Jesus rose, it wasn’t Peter who first saw him. I wonder if he thought he had irrevocably damaged his relationship with Jesus. Perhaps Peter entered that tomb on resurrection morning with the hope of reconnecting with the man he denied.

But in this quiet moment in the early morning on the shore of the Sea of Galilee, Jesus was reinstating Peter as his beloved follower and apostle. He forgave Peter and reminded him of the bigger picture, to feed his lambs and take of his sheep, to be the servant to the lost and marginalized and forgotten that he knew Peter could be. A bigger picture he would share with the rest of the disciples before saying his final goodbye.

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The Way to Pentecost: Doubt

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So, Jesus has now revealed himself to his disciples in many ways – in gardens, on roads, in locked rooms. It’s interesting that he didn’t reveal himself first to his apostles, but instead to women and others who were only mentioned once or twice in all of the New Testament. But even among the apostles, there is still one who hasn’t seen Jesus in person yet.

Doubting Thomas, from The Passion of Christ, plate 28 by Gru00e9goire Huret is licensed under CC-CC0 1.0

Thomas, also known as Didymus, which means twin, is only briefly mentioned in lists of the apostles in Matthew, Mark, and Luke. But, John mentions him a few times more, which is also where the story of his doubt is written.

His first mention in John is when they find out that Lazarus has died and Jesus wants to go to Bethany to visit Martha and Mary. Thomas says to the other disciples, “Let us also go, that we may die with him”. Right before this, Jesus had been in Jerusalem for the Festival of Dedication (or Hanukkah) where he upset the religious leaders to the point where they attempted to stone him. He had gone across the Jordan and was staying there when he received word from Mary and Martha that Lazarus was very sick.

Thomas knows if Jesus goes back to Jerusalem, that it will mean certain death, but at this point, he was ready to stay by his side. At the Last Supper, after Jesus discusses being betrayed by Judas and denied by Peter, the disciples are disheartened. This is when Jesus assures them that he is going to prepare a place for them. Thomas then asks him how they will know the way. And Jesus responds by saying he is the way.

Thomas is a questioner, but he is also faithful. He wants to go where Jesus goes. To stay by his side. His questions do not mean he doesn’t have faith. He seems more to just want to understand the plan. And I can relate. How many times have I asked God what the plan is? In the last 24 hours?

Also, he wasn’t the only one that had trouble believing. Matthew and Mark both include accounts of people who were doubting. In Matthew, Jesus is standing on a mountain in Galilee right in front of them and verse 14 said “but some doubted.” In Mark’s accounts of the women telling the disciples that Jesus had risen and his account of the companions on the road, he includes that the people they told did not believe them, either. Luke includes that the women were not believed because their words seemed like nonsense.

Jesus rebukes those who don’t believe, but with Thomas, Jesus invites him to touch his hands and his side before telling him to stop doubting and believe. And yes, Jesus follows that up with the “Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed,” but he didn’t abandon Thomas in his doubt.

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There are a lot of people who are questioning the church right now. And while there have been a lot of support for those who are deconstructing, the louder voices in the church have been condemning those who doubt, those who question, those having crises of faith and church. But Jesus never condemned the questioning. He didn’t condemn Thomas. He answered and invited Thomas to seek out the truth.

Thomas is mentioned another time in Acts, on the day of Pentecost. Thomas is with the other apostles and disciples in an upper room. He is constantly praying, continuing his apostolic ministry, and filled with the Holy Spirit. I can imagine the impact he might have had on other doubters, on questioners. I imagine he walked with them through it all just as Jesus had walked with him. All of the apostles played different roles and reached different people. Just as different believers today can further the kingdom of God in different ways. Those who hold doubt, and even those who hold shame…

Why Is This Still Happening?

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I did a series on my blog called Continuing the Conversation about Pregnancy and Infant Loss. As I would research articles online about recent conversations on this topic, I started noticing a trend. A lot of these posts online would start out with “We don’t talk about (miscarriage, infertility, etc) very much.”

Even though 1 in 4 women experience loss , I still seem to live in a world where that statistic is not realized (and that’s the American statistic. One of the most technologically advanced, medically advanced, innovative countries, and we still experience infertility and loss 25% of the time). I still get comments at the store from the cashier or some other stranger who suggests that I need to have another child like it is as easy as picking laundry detergent on aisle 12.

Being on this side of the road now, it’s easy to see the struggle, the tears, the waiting, the dashed hopes, and all of the pain that comes with simply trying to add another member to your family. There doesn’t really seem to be a simple way to do it, despite how much people have suggested all sorts of “easy answers” to our complicated struggle in the past. So, I thought I would take a step back, back in time, to when I was that newly wedded wife who was afraid her birth control wasn’t going to work, and she would get pregnant way before she was ready. The first few times I even heard about a friend struggling with infertility, all the responses that I would eventually hear in my own situation popped into my head, and sometimes even out of my mouth.

I just simply didn’t understand. I thought I did. I thought infertility or miscarriage were things that happened in extreme cases, that all this anxiety may just be an overreaction and that they needed to just relax (I know, I know, I was young and ignorant). It wasn’t until I had the term “unexplained” attached to my own stillbirths that I realized the medical research doesn’t actually have this all figured out. It’s is not a simple cause and effect. It’s a case by case situation. And each case has to be approached with compassion and patience.

But why, when we have all of this evidence, all these stories shared in books and online, do we still have to endure the conversations in the grocery store or at church or even in our own families? And I realized, speaking for myself most of all, that this world is not as stable as we would like it to be, that pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps, working hard, being diligent, saying the right things, praying the right prayers, checking all the boxes just doesn’t guarantee anything.

Personally, I like structure. I like the routine. I like to know that if I do A and B, then C will always be the result. But life doesn’t happen that way. Kids die before their parents. Loving wives can still be cheated on. “Til Death Do You Part” can happen way before it should. People who love their jobs and are good at them still lose them. Houses, even in gated communities, can still be vandalized. Kids from loving, supportive homes can still make bad choices in their life.

I’m not saying this because I’m just throwing up my hands, “Eat, Drink, and Be Merry” about it all. But since we all know and experience instability in our lives, we have an amazing opportunity to extend patience and compassion to those who are experiencing it in their own life. To acknowledge that there is no easy answer that will fix things. To listen and be willing to sit in the silence of grief. To understand that I won’t understand every situation completely, and extend grace to those around me who could be having the worst day of their life. To approach every conversation without all the answers.

This is challenging for me. I like being in control and knowing how things end. I don’t like being uncomfortable or have anyone around me that’s sad. I love laughing and having living room dance parties and late-night board game sessions. I love stories with hopeful and happy endings. I like sunshiny days in the garden. I like seeing other people experience joy and good surprises.

But life is both these good things and the bad stuff, too. And it’s healthy to acknowledge them both in our lives and the lives of others. As a Christian, I think it’s a big part of being a follower of Christ. He wept and laughed and got outraged. He felt all the feelings without fear or shame. In all the instability, he is a rock. A cornerstone to all the hope in the world. I want to use that hope in Christ to further my growth in how I interact with others, forgiving the hurtful, ignorant comments because I understand the need for control and distaste for the uncomfortable. And in the same way, I want to watch the words that come out of my own mouth, that they bring hope instead of hurt, silence when it is preferred, and enough compassion to acknowledge that I don’t understand, but I’m still gonna be here anyway.

Authenticity

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This is probably going to be a true ramble because these thoughts haven’t completely solidified in my head, but there is an edge to them that I can’t get rid of.

So why not just share it with you anyway.

Authenticity

I’ve talked about authenticity and living honestly on this blog.  I don’t think I’m changing my mind about what I’ve said before, but I’ve seen a danger in using this terminology without balance.

Here’s what I’m talking about.

I caught myself the other day talking about “living my truth.”  And for some reason, when the words came out of my mouth that time (because they have come out of my mouth before), they felt wrong, disturbing, like something was off.

And I realized that there is a danger in pursuing an authentic life.  The danger is that I can be focused so much on living my truth that I forget I’m supposed to be living THE truth, that is in Jesus Christ.  I can center my life so much inward that I never look upward and lose all my energy to live outward.

 

But no matter how inward I will go, I will never understand myself or know myself the way God knows me.  He knew me ever since I was knitted together in my mother’s womb.  He knows what will make me smile, what will make me belly laugh, what will make me cry, and what makes me scared.  He wraps his arms around me the second before the heartbreak.  And he doesn’t let go until the panic washes through me.

And God is proud of his creation.  He roots for us.  He’s the father in the stands demanding the coach put his kid in because he believes in us.  We can do it, not because of some secret we have figured out on our own, but because His strength is pulsing through our spirit.  We got this, even if we have no control over whatever this is, because ultimately, He’s got this.

I can’t continually try to get to know myself, to perfect myself, before going out in the world.  It doesn’t work that way.  I thought I had to live perfectly, to know perfectly, to speak perfectly, to engage perfectly before going out and making a difference in the name of Jesus.  I thought it would make it easier.  But I’ve learned that life is way more complicated and messy, and self-perfection isn’t sustainable, engageable, or even effective.  It’s going to take a mess of a person to reach into the nooks and crannies of the world to reflect a light of Jesus in the darkest corners.

And every time I obsessively try to find out who I am, my truth, my way, my light, I forget that there is only One Truth, One Way, and One Light that is Jesus.  I can’t forget that.  He knows the way through this life.  He said it was gonna be hard.  He said we would suffer.  But the only way I will feel complete and whole is through Him.

Again, there is nothing wrong with living an authentic life, a good life, a life lived in truth and honesty and transparency.  I’m all for that.  And I even think that Jesus wants us to live authentically, honestly, truthfully, transparently.  But I also think He calls us to live holy and righteous lives, led by the Spirit (not our own), with our feet firmly planted in His Truth.

What do you think?