Dates are important to me. I keep a running list of anniversaries in my Google Calendar. It’s the easiest way to keep track of them for me. I just set it on repeat and have it never end. We have the usual suspects – wedding anniversary and birthdays, but I also have the day we bought our house and the day we got our first car together. And then there are the other anniversaries. The ones that are connected to my pregnancy loss.
Two of those anniversaries happen this month. And this week, my calendar reminded me of one. The very first time I saw a positive pregnancy test. The pregnancy that ended in an early miscarriage. I remember where I was and what I felt as that small little square turned into a plus sign. I remember looking at it over and over again, just making sure I wasn’t seeing things.
After I had the miscarriage, so many women told me their own stories. These memories remind about how strong these women are. Most of them carry their stories silently for years. How isolating it can feel! I remember how this spurred me on to write more openly about my own experiences. I wanted to help others not feel alone and remind them that they are full of God-given worth and value.
All of this started in March of 2013, 6 years ago. I had no idea, staring at that little plus sign, just what was in store for me. Through every up and down, I’m so thankful for God, my family, and this community who have walked with me every step of the way.