Tag Archives: miscarriage

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Rememberance Day

I wrote this post last year on Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. Everything I wrote still resonates. I hope these words uplift you today.

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Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month: Miscarriage 2013

This post was written on April 26, 2013, after I found out that there was no heartbeat in my first pregnancy, before I actually had the miscarriage. I wrote this blog because I felt like I had told so many people that I was pregnant, and I didn’t want to have to go back and tell them all that I wasn’t anymore.

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The Month of October

This month is Infant and Pregnancy Loss Awareness Month. On October 15th, we light a candle at 7pm to remember the babies we have lost.

I’m a loss mom. I’ve had one miscarriage, followed by two stillbirths. We are so grateful that after these losses we had our beautiful rainbow baby, who is now three. But we know that isn’t the story for everyone. We mourn with our friends who have had similar journeys, and pray for comfort and love for those still waiting for rainbows.

This month is going to be incredibly busy for my family, as we prepare for a move as well as the season of holidays that is fast approaching. But I want to share a few blog posts that I have written in the past over the next few weeks, parts of my journey some of you may not know. So, each Friday I will share a blog post from the past regarding my personal journey or some reflection on that journey.

If these resonate you, if you are going through something similar, and especially if you are grieving, know that you aren’t alone. Feel free to comment with your own story or email me at katyslifestory@gmail.com. And always remember, you are loved, you are worthy, you are valuable just as you are, no matter where you are in your story or what the next chapter may bring.

Photo by icon0.com on Pexels.com

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Rememberance Day

All around the country today, there will be candles lit for babies lost. I became a part of this community in 2013. It’s a community of compassion and welcome, though no member wishes anyone had to join it.

Recently, I was sitting in the OB waiting room, waiting for an annual check up appointment. I saw across the room another woman and her mother, both intently staring into their phones. And I noticed the tears quietly streaming down both their faces. I knew this look all to well.

The woman was approached by another woman in the room, which convicted me to join this small group. It turned out that the woman who was crying was having a 9 week miscarriage. The other woman who approached had also experienced pregnancy loss. Encouragement was shared, and then space and privacy given to the grieving family after her husband arrived.

It was a powerful moment in what can feel like an isolating journey. 1 in 4 women experience pregnancy loss. I guarantee that someone you know has gone through it, even if they have never talked about it. But our society doesn’t reflect these facts.

But October 15th gives us an opportunity to remember. Remember the children we have lost. Remember those precious moments of hope and expectation. The positive pregnancy tests, the heartbeats, the in-womb dance parties. My daughters are as much a part of my story as my living son is. What is the saying? “As long as I have breath, my baby you shall be.”

If you want to take part in today, remember the babies who are no longer with us, light a candle tonight at 7 pm, in all time zones. And if you are grieving your own loss, know that you aren’t alone in your remembering. There is a community here surrounding you in love, thought, and prayer.

Continuing the Conversation

I want to keep sharing other people’s stories or articles from around the internet this year, so here are three new posts to share.

Couple shares their infertility struggles to encourage others trying to conceive

Beautiful story of the Brattons who had waited ten years before they were able to have their son. And now they encourage others who are waiting. This is part of what the community is all about.

Why Miscarriages Should Be in All Sex Ed Lesson Plans

Yes. This is what I’ve been saying for years, and I’m glad there are bigger voices advocating for this, too.

These Miscarriage Empathy Cards Break Down The Taboo Of Pregnancy Loss

These are great cards for those going through pregnancy loss. In addition to listening and supporting friends through loss, these cards say appropriate things for the situation, in my opinion.

If you have never experienced pregnancy loss or infertility, I can guarantee there is someone in your life who has.  While the above stories may not be the same experiences for everyone, they can definitely open that window to more understanding and empathy for what everyone goes through.  And for those of you who are in the midst of these unknowns or losses, you are not alone.  May these words uplift and encourage you today.

Do you have any posts or articles that have touched you or compelled you to share?

Continuing the Conversation

I want to keep sharing other people’s stories or articles from around the internet this year, so here are three new posts to share.

Families mourning pregnancy and infant loss hit with costly bills

Something I don’t see discussed as often is the actual financial cost of pregnancy loss. CBS news did a story on this, and I’m glad to see people speaking up about it. Not just the hospital bills, but at least in my case, we also had cremation bills as well.

Infertility: Other people’s pregnancies

This is a great article written for women going through pregnancy loss. A lot of great advice.

What I Wish Someone Had Told Me About Secondary Infertility

Another great article on Huffington Personal that shares a journey with secondary infertility. Any time I find a story like this, it’s a definite must-share. I know that someone who may read this may also relate to her story.

If you have never experienced pregnancy loss or infertility, I can guarantee there is someone in your life who has.  While the above stories may not be the same experiences for everyone, they can definitely open that window to more understanding and empathy for what everyone goes through.  And for those of you who are in the midst of these unknowns or losses, you are not alone.  May these words uplift and encourage you today.

Do you have any posts or articles that have touched you or compelled you to share?

Continuing the Conversation

I want to keep sharing other people’s stories or articles from around the internet this year, so here are three new posts to share.

Women Are Demanding Miscarriages be Part of School’s Sex Education Curriculum

This is happening in Scotland after an outcry that a miscarriage depicted on a TV show wasn’t realistic. And it was actually the outcry that was misinformed. Personally, I would love there to be more of a conversation about miscarriages and pregnancy loss in the sex education curriculum. Even when I took a class in high school on child development from the womb to toddler age, loss was not even discussed.

We Need To Talk About Men And Miscarriage

While I don’t think there is a whole lot of conversation around pregnancy loss to begin with, there is even less about how men deal with the loss. I know my husband grieves our losses, too, and I appreciate studies and articles like this one.

MEN USE THESE 4 METAPHORS TO DESCRIBE MISCARRIAGE

Going along with the above article, this one in particular focuses on how men perceive their role in a pregnancy loss – as a rock, guard, repairman, or secondary character. And that these particular roles show the fact the men feel they have to put their grief and feelings aside for their partner. And how that needs to change.

If you have never experienced pregnancy loss or infertility, I can guarantee there is someone in your life who has.  While the above stories may not be the same experiences for everyone, they can definitely open that window to more understanding and empathy for what everyone goes through.  And for those of you who are in the midst of these unknowns or losses, you are not alone.  May these words uplift and encourage you today.

Do you have any posts or articles that have touched you or compelled you to share?

Continuing the Conversation

I want to keep sharing other people’s stories or articles from around the internet this year, so here are three new posts to share.

‘Why I kept quiet about my infertility for five years’

Kayleigh Evans and her husband had been trying to get pregnant for three years when she decided to record small video blogs in secret. After a full five years of waiting, she finally got pregnant with their two month old son. And now she has created a compilation of these videos to share with others what it’s like to go through infertility.

7 Tips for Keeping Your Relationship Strong When Dealing With Infertility

Some really good insight into keeping your relationship healthy when you are dealing with either infertility or pregnancy loss. A lot of it is on different ways communication can help and hurt.

Woman shocked by friend’s incredibly ‘cruel’ comment after her miscarriage

This was an article about an anonymous post on Reddit. Unfortunately, this kind of conversation happens so much more often than most people realize. But I wanted to share it so that anyone who experiences things like this know that they aren’t alone (and anyone who says things like this might stop saying it).

If you have never experienced pregnancy loss or infertility, I can guarantee there is someone in your life who has.  While the above stories may not be the same experiences for everyone, they can definitely open that window to more understanding and empathy for what everyone goes through.  And for those of you who are in the midst of these unknowns or losses, you are not alone.  May these words uplift and encourage you today.

Do you have any posts or articles that have touched you or compelled you to share?

Six years

Dates are important to me. I keep a running list of anniversaries in my Google Calendar. It’s the easiest way to keep track of them for me. I just set it on repeat and have it never end. We have the usual suspects – wedding anniversary and birthdays, but I also have the day we bought our house and the day we got our first car together. And then there are the other anniversaries. The ones that are connected to my pregnancy loss.

Two of those anniversaries happen this month. And this week, my calendar reminded me of one. The very first time I saw a positive pregnancy test. The pregnancy that ended in an early miscarriage. I remember where I was and what I felt as that small little square turned into a plus sign. I remember looking at it over and over again, just making sure I wasn’t seeing things.

After I had the miscarriage, so many women told me their own stories. These memories remind about how strong these women are. Most of them carry their stories silently for years. How isolating it can feel! I remember how this spurred me on to write more openly about my own experiences. I wanted to help others not feel alone and remind them that they are full of God-given worth and value.

All of this started in March of 2013, 6 years ago. I had no idea, staring at that little plus sign, just what was in store for me. Through every up and down, I’m so thankful for God, my family, and this community who have walked with me every step of the way.

Continuing the Conversation

I want to keep sharing other people’s stories or articles from around the internet this year, so here are three new posts to share.

How Infertility and Depression Made Me Reconsider My Parenting Dream

This is a beautiful, personal article about the reasons why Stephanie Auteri decided not having another child after dealing with over three years of infertility, an IUI, and finally having her little girl. Following the birth of her daughter, her depression became unmanageable without medication. It is well written and a reminder that we all have the right to respect for our family decisions.

Do you silently worry that your miscarriage was your fault?

Another really great post. I think every woman goes through this line of thinking after a miscarriage. I know I did. Some of the questions that this author listed were the same ones I asked myself. And it doesn’t help that there are so many different opinions on what a healthy pregnancy should look like (outside of the advice of my doctor, that is). This article has some good, helpful insight.

Pregnancy After Miscarriage: Why I Can’t Shake the Fear of Another Pregnancy Loss

Oh my goodness, this seems to be the week for articles to come out that hit so close to home. The first sentence of this article actually articulates the feelings I had at 8 months. And it was so much easier to write about it or do a video instead of talking about it in person. It’s why I didn’t have a baby shower before he was born. So, so good. Please read!

If you have never experienced pregnancy loss or infertility, I can guarantee there is someone in your life who has.  While the above stories may not be the same experiences for everyone, they can definitely open that window to more understanding and empathy for what everyone goes through.  And for those of you who are in the midst of these unknowns or losses, you are not alone.  May these words uplift and encourage you today.

Do you have any posts or articles that have touched you or compelled you to share?