Comforting: Won’t Be Forsaken

The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.  Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.  – Deuteronomy 31:8

It was the end of Moses’s life and the end of his time as the leader of Israel.  After he gave a little pep talk to the people, he called Joshua, his successor, in for a private meeting where he uttered the above words.  Joshua was going to lead the people of Israel into the promised land, fight battles, lose battles, see the people fall away and turn back to God.  And through it all, Moses says, God will never leave him.

God is always with us.  I think it is a good practice to look for God no matter what my life circumstances may be.  It’s easier after a win to believe God is with you, but I think it’s just as important to see him during the losses as well.

After my first daughter passed away, I prayed that God would make his presence obvious to me.  And he did.  In the many messages that I received from friends and family, from the nurses and doctors who showed me complete compassion to simple things like a sunrise.  To know that the almighty, powerful God would stoop down to comfort me was a miraculous blessing.  I knew that no matter what happened, I could curl up in the arms of my Heavenly Father and cry out to him.

Through both the good times and the bad, God is there.  And in that, I take great comfort.

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Remembrance Day 2018

This month is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month, and this Monday, October 15th, it will be Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.  In 2016 and 2017, Michael and I have spent this day with the pregnancy loss community in a balloon release.

This year, we won’t be participating publicly, but we are going to light our candle on the day.  At 7pm CST, we plan to light a candle for each of our daughters to remember them.  This is the time set aside for all loss families to light a candle and remember together, no matter where they are.  I would encourage you to light a candle and remember with them.  It means so much to have my daughters remembered.  And I know I’m not the only one who feels that way.

If you are a loss mom or dad, you are loved and your children are loved.  You are not alone, and we grieve with you.

Comforting: Fulfilled Promises

Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill his promises to her! – Luke 1: 45

This verse is my lock screen on my phone.  It has been my lock screen for over a year, between my last pregnancy and the one before.

Mary had come to visit Elizabeth after an angel told her that she would be pregnant with Jesus, and also that Elizabeth was pregnant too.  Elizabeth had been in seclusion after finding out her own pregnancy and when Mary showed up, Elizabeth’s baby (John the Baptist) leaped in her womb.

Of course, I was drawn to this verse because it involves two pregnant women, something I longed for myself.  But this verse stuck with me because even in my loss, my wonderings if I would ever carry a healthy baby to full term or raise children in my home, it was imperative for my soul and my anxiety to remember that God was fulfilling promises to me every day.

Promises that he will not leave me in my times of distress.  Promises that there is a bigger picture than what I see in front of me.  Promises that He will give me purpose in my pain.

This month is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month.  In the next few weeks, I will be sharing some thoughts on these promises and verses that have helped me in the storm.

Hope Moms Balloon Release

This weekend, Michael and I attended our second Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day Balloon Release.  Last year, it was connected with a walk, but this year they just did the balloon release, which was still pretty special.

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It was extremely windy, so I had Michael in charge of the balloons.  We had two pink balloons for each of our daughters.  They had pink, blue, and yellow available.  Yellow balloons were generally for the babies who passed before the gender was known.

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Of course, as they were flying away, I was just overwhelmed.  So many little, loved ones were being celebrated in that park.  It means so much to me to know that I have a community of families who have been there.  I’m also thankful for my own community, all of you, who have been through this journey with us.

A Day of Remembrance

Today I wanted to take an opportunity to talk to you about something I’m passionate about, something very near and dear to my heart.  So, here’s a video, sorry for the vertical filming.

Below are the two pictures that you can use if you don’t want to light a candle tomorrow night, but still want to participate in the event.

Iremember

weremember

Thank you so much for your support and love.  Let’s light up our newsfeeds tomorrow in support!