All around the country today, there will be candles lit for babies lost. I became a part of this community in 2013. It’s a community of compassion and welcome, though no member wishes anyone had to join it.
Recently, I was sitting in the OB waiting room, waiting for an annual check up appointment. I saw across the room another woman and her mother, both intently staring into their phones. And I noticed the tears quietly streaming down both their faces. I knew this look all to well.
The woman was approached by another woman in the room, which convicted me to join this small group. It turned out that the woman who was crying was having a 9 week miscarriage. The other woman who approached had also experienced pregnancy loss. Encouragement was shared, and then space and privacy given to the grieving family after her husband arrived.
It was a powerful moment in what can feel like an isolating journey. 1 in 4 women experience pregnancy loss. I guarantee that someone you know has gone through it, even if they have never talked about it. But our society doesn’t reflect these facts.
But October 15th gives us an opportunity to remember. Remember the children we have lost. Remember those precious moments of hope and expectation. The positive pregnancy tests, the heartbeats, the in-womb dance parties. My daughters are as much a part of my story as my living son is. What is the saying? “As long as I have breath, my baby you shall be.”
If you want to take part in today, remember the babies who are no longer with us, light a candle tonight at 7 pm, in all time zones. And if you are grieving your own loss, know that you aren’t alone in your remembering. There is a community here surrounding you in love, thought, and prayer.