Tag Archives: Worth

A Thought To Ponder

When I meet someone new, the inevitable question is “do you have kids?” which would make sense in my surrounding culture.  I’ve been married now for almost 8 years.  I’m pretty upfront with my miscarriages, and it leads to great conversation most of the time.  But at some point, usually towards the end of the conversation, I get the statement “Well, you are going to be a great mom someday,” or something to that effect.

And then I slightly cringe inside.

Now, before I go on, I want to make it clear that my reaction has nothing to do with whether or not I believe God will give me children someday.  I know that the comment is meant to encourage faith, but I think that it can send the wrong message.

Because who I am right now is pretty great.  I volunteer.  I work with a great mission organization who supports spreading the Kingdom of God within relationships.  My husband tells me I’m a pretty awesome wife.  And my friends tell me I’m a pretty great friend as well.

But even if I wasn’t those things, I am for certain one incredibly awesome thing.  I am a daughter to the Most High King.  I am a beloved creation of God.  And that gives me more value than anything I have been, will be or am today.

I don’t think that message is communicated enough.  And it goes for any life stage.  If you are in high school, you have to be thinking about college.  If you are in college, it’s all about your career.  If you are single, it’s about getting married.  If you are married, it’s about having kids.  If you have kids, then it’s all about your kids and whatever stage they should be at, or how they should be behaving.  The cycle begins again.

You don’t have to prove the worth you already have.  God has a purpose for your life right now.  The things you are going through, experiencing or even missing, all of it can be used by God through you to further the Kingdom.  And your worth isn’t wrapped up in what you do but in who you are.  You are a beloved creation, a child of the Most High King.  You are loved.  You have value.  And you are enough, right where you are.

The Worth of Others

Recently, in our area, a young teenage boy took his own life due to bullying.  It breaks my heart that someone so young would believe he was hated so much, believe there was no hope for him, and believe that the only choice he had was to end his life so early.  There have been a lot conversations in our neighborhoods and in the media about bullying and what we as a society can do to prevent things like this from happening.

I mentioned in a previous post about realizing my worth in God, that he loves me so much that he would sacrifice his own son so that I could have a chance at a relationship with Him.  But I tend to stop there.  I want to live my life in a closer relationship with God, and I can get so inward focused that I lose sight of the next logical step.

If I’m worth that much to God, because I was created by him that means that everyone that was created by him is worth that much.  That means every person on this earth is worth the redemption of Christ and a chance to have a relationship with God.

That seems overwhelming. However, I don’t think God is tasking any one person to love every person in the world, but I do think that He is calling us to love every person in our life.  For some people in our lives, that’s easy.  It’s easy to love those who think like us, who live like us, and who talk like us.

But it’s the people who aren’t like us, who disagree with us, who lead lives that we don’t understand, who attack and criticize us for who we are, that we tend to avoid.  It’s easy to unfriend, delete, block or isolate ourselves from these kinds of people, but I believe God put these people, these opportunities for love, into our lives for a reason.

When we were still sinners, Christ died for us.  When we were still unlovable, angry, critical, judgmental.  When we didn’t live our lives in a way that honored God.  When we were the kind of people God should isolate himself from, He still came into our lives and loved us anyway.  Why should we be any different to the people around us?

We don’t love them so that they will do better in their lives.  We aren’t in relationship with them to control their behavior or convert them to our way of thinking.  We give them the same worth that God gives to us.  We love them unconditionally so that they will know God.   God gave us his love to share with others, not to keep to ourselves.

The tragedies in our community are a blatant cry for the love of God and the desire to know our true worth in a cruel and deceiving world.  As Christians, we are called to remind others of the truth through our compassion, our love, our words and actions to everyone we meet, lift each other up when we fall, and encourage each other along our journey in this life.

The Journey of Worth

Having a miscarriage evokes a lot of feelings.  Grief.  Loss.  Pain, both emotional and physical.  Frustration.  Confusion.  There are a lot of lessons I’ve learned as well, and I’m so grateful and encouraged by all the connections I’ve made on this path.

I feel like God prepared me a lot for this season in my life. especially in the past seven years, I have been on a journey of realizing my own worth.  Realizing the truth that seems to get lost somewhere in our living life.

It stems from the statement that I’ve said and others have said to me, “God has a plan for you beyond your imagination.”  It’s a statement of encouragement, a hope that someday, as I’m holding my own child in my arms, I will look back on this time in my life with gratitude, knowing that my faith led me to motherhood.  That I didn’t give up because God had that plan for me.

This statement means something else to me, too.  I believe it’s a challenge for my faith.  God does have an amazing plan for me, but that plan may not include having children of my own, and if that’s the case, would I still follow that plan or would I deny Christ?

Now, I fully intend on continuing to build our family.  I want to have children of my own.  I want to know my daughters or sons on this earth.  I want to encourage them on their own paths to having a relationship with God.  I want to experience the happiness and heartache of motherhood.  Most definitely.

But I also know that my relationship with God is more important than my chance to be a mother, not that the two are isolated from each other.  I can be a mother and have a relationship with God, but if it came down to choosing between the two, then I want to choose Him.  I want to honor God in every stage of my life and every step of my journey, not just when good things happen.  I want to depend on Him when things aren’t going my way and when they are.  I want to find my worth in Him.

All throughout our life, we are measured and compared.  We are judged by how we look, what we accomplish, how we behave, and what we manage to collect (whether material or relationships).  Somehow it is translated that these things used to judge us are the same things that give us worth.  It happens in our communities and even in our church families.  We may put a “godly spin” on it, but it still comes out the same.  We have to earn our worth by being involved, by knowing the right words, by acting the right way.

But we don’t earn our worth.  We don’t add to it or subtract from it.  We are given our worth at the moment our soul is formed.  God gives us that worth, and its value is so great that he sacrificed His only son so that we may have the opportunity to be in a relationship with Him.

That’s why I continue to speak my story, the story that God has placed on my heart.  Once I realized how much I was worth to Him, how much He longs to be in a relationship with me – a careless, prideful, perfectionist sinner, my life changed.  And I knew that I had to tell others.  Others who think that they are worthless or that feel like they don’t fit into the Christian community.  Others who have walked the halls of the church building, barely putting one foot in front of the other from the pain in their lives.  There is a hope in Christ that can heal, that can bring joy to your despair.

I don’t always live with the knowledge of my worth.  I get scared, and I let fear lead me instead of God.  I cling a little too closely (okay, a lot too closely) to the comforts of my boxed-in life, knowing that God never meant for me to live in such isolation.  I don’t always run to God when I’m seeking answers or peace.  I have dark days filled with the grief of loss and the longing for my daughter.  I’m a flawed human being, which makes me that much more in awe of God’s view of my soul and His desire to be in my life.

It’s why I take each day as it comes.  It’s why I have hope for my future.  It’s the same story for you.  We can live without fear but know that God wants to do amazing things with our lives so we can live it in an abundance of joy, strength, and peace.  It doesn’t matter where you come from or what you’ve done.  It doesn’t matter what labels you have received or what choices you have made.  It doesn’t matter your failures or your successes.  God loves you, and He longs to be in a relationship with you, to walk with you in your journey through this life.  And that’s all that truly matters, and to me, it’s definitely worth it.